The wedding went smoothly as did the marriage for 30 years. We had 3 great kids and lived a content life. We had ups and downs, laughter and tears, good days and bad... but there was always something missing. I loved him like a brother, like a best friend NOT like a lover, NOT like a husband. There was no passion - no heart wrenching moments. Just went through the motions.
Thats not to say we werent happy - WE WERE! But still, something missing... a loneliness. Whenever we would argue I would always think about Stan. When I fantasized it was always about Stan. Good dreams always included Stan... I didn't think other people felt that way. I sound obsessed - I wasn't I lived my day normally sometimes not thinking about him for months. But then it always came back to him...for 30 years.
Scroll down to "And it begins" for the full story
More Later...
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